Friday, October 15, 2010

I learned what?

You know as I somehow write this blog it is because issues came up this week with my whole being, marriage, family, and friends. So I thought I take the time to explain a little about things that I have learned the past few weeks/months.

“God requires righteous behavior from us and will intervene in our lives to make sure it happens.” (Hebrews 12:5-11)


–noun, plural -ries.
1. something that indicates bounds or limits; a limiting or bounding line

Yes, one of my favorite lessons that I have learned this year from Marriage retreat. I have to say it just doesn’t apply to marriage but with everything.{ Church,Family,Friends.} See, I just have a pet peeve when someone uses or takes something without my permission or knowledge. Call me selfish, yes probably but I do not mind SHARING if people know how to ASK! Whatever happened to manners? I used to think that manners were overrated sometimes growing up but now as I have grown older it is one thing in life that just expresses gratitude and respect among people. I want to share something with you that probably make me very vulnerable for even bringing up my insecurities but you know what I know that I am not the only one who is insecure about certain things. It is the gratitude to seek out valuable lessons that can be used in future reference.

As an individual person we have to set boundaries for our own well being. If we do not trouble comes after us. How far are we willing to push that line? What are our individual boundaries really for? What about our boundaries when we are trying to be rightful Christians. Do we take the time and set boundaries to sit down every day with God. What are our boundaries when it comes to what you and I can and cannot do? Do we take up activities that sometime take us away from our time with God, family, church. What are our boundaries with work, school? I am NOT perfect, I write this because I am learning something that God wants me to take to heart every day. I lack my time management with everything, I am learning to put boundaries on certain aspects of my life so that I can live for Him and only Him. God wants us to enjoy things that he gives us with thanks and praises, but we have to also set time for him because he wants to hear from us. So yes boundaries are good for your well being because it keeps you on alert when you get too close to trouble.

“I will instruct you (says the Lord) and guide you along the best pathway for your life; I will advise you and watch your progress." Psalms 32:8


My marriage with my husband Tom is interesting,days I want to kill him, the most happiest woman on EARTH because he finds way to challenge me and has a very serious, obvious sense of humor for his big head. Don’t get me wrong, I am BLESSED with a Genius Husband but if I tell that to him in his face you can see his head get bigger by the letters in a sentence. My point, is that even though we have this
LooneyIcantalklovebemadatyouforfiveminutes kind of marriage we both have our insecurities. See one of my many insecurities that I have is Jealousy. I know I should be a proud, confident wife, and glad at the end of the day he comes home to me. I should be thankful for his loyalty to me and our marriage. Yet, I allow the devil to enter my mind and thoughts when I should solely put my trust in God that he will guide my husband. That is my fault for allowing that, but on the other hand my husband tends to allow comments come out of his mouth. He did admit to me that he likes to get a rise out of me being jealous to see whether or not I care that much. Believe me I DO! Because one day, again I tend to read between the lines and overanalyze . He doesn’t realize how he speaks with women or should I say flirt but he really doesn’t flirt. I know I know Men are creatures and they will glance. See the devil has his way of trying to get our focus off of God and He tried to succeed at trying to get my focus off of him but I turned to the women in my church who have more experience and wisdom. I am grateful for that. Our boundaries in our marriage consist of financial boundaries, his and my personal boundaries, boundaries with other people as a married couple. In the marriage retreat Pastor Darrell taught us that boundaries are set to protect the well being of us:spiritually, individually, physically, mentally and emotionally. Pastor Mark mentioned something about boundaries Wednesday evening @ church “If you can smell the perfume, it is too late”.

“Now glory be to God, who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of -- infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” Ephesians 3: 20

Saying no to someone is HARD, especially when it comes to FAMILY. I have just recently learned that I cannot please everyone. Even my own family, who are alcoholics, drug addicts and people who are old enough to take care of themselves. Tom and I have struggled for wanting to see the good in my family and it is hard when you are the ENABLER. You do not want drama but instead you do not realize that you create drama by enabling the person’s addiction. When Tom lost his job back in March we struggled not only just the two of us but also taking care of my mom since she has been out of prison with no job for three years, taking care of my brother who has an addiction to alcohol. Not only were we trying to take care of us but two grown people who can take care of themselves. I had the most difficult time saying No to them because they were family but then I realized at how much it was not just hurting me but my marriage with my Husband because it was extra baggage I had to carry and deal with. In reality I should not be taking care of their problems. I forgot to give my worry and control to God and tried to handle everything on my own. You would not believe how old and stressed I became in a few months time. So one day I got so tired of the bricks I was carrying and FINALLY said No to what my brother wanted and what my mother wanted and they needed to learn for themselves to hit rock bottom if they had to. I did before. By Grace he saved me and showed me his love and mercy.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from you own experience how his ways will really satisfy you.” Romans 12:2


Friends are a treasure when you have them in your life. It is true that when times are hard you find out who is really your TRUE friend. One who will be with you through thick and thin. Will be honest with you because that what friends do. I believe that God made us friends because sometimes we just need more of a touch. Yet, sometimes you do have to set boundaries when it comes to friends they may not believe in your God, but we still have to love them and respect them. We set boundaries of what we are going to allow ourselves to do. We may not like how they live their life but we still love them we just do not FOLLOW their path.

Boundaries protect us and make us honest people, it also gives us the responsibility as a person. I want to continue to grow and have him beside me everyday. It is amazing how God teaches us and knows us too well. He will not give us more than we can handle. He just wants us to be righteous and trust him in all aspects in our lives.

Until next time


“In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown you efforts with success. Don’t be conceited, sure of your own wisdom. Instead, trust and reverence the Lord, and turn your back on evil; when you do that, then you will be given renewed health and vitality.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

1 comment:

  1. You made me cry! Love your wrting, your honesty and the way the Holy Spirit is at work in you. Know that you are loved, first by our wonderful God and Savior Jesus and second by me and others.

    Pastor Darrell